I’m especially a fan of Japanese Cinema. I was born and raised on a cinema diet of junk food films and Japanese Cinema can deliever that in spades. However, to call it simply junk food cinema underlies the constant pursuit of cool that my favorite Japanese flicks like Versus and Azumi deliever with aggression.

So I wasn’t really surprised when I saw this image from a new Gundam Flick. That’s what I’m talking about when I refer to the cool factor Japanese flicks have that American Movies couldn’t possibly understand. People like Michael Bay think that in order to make things cool, they need to update and change things for modern audiences.

I’m telling you, that’s what a fraggin’ giant robot should look like!!

EDIT: So in my fervor to post this, I didn’t actually read the article, turns out that that giant Gundam is actual some sort of Ride or Amusement Park Attraction of some kind. Really though, all that does is make that Gundam all the more awesome. I want a Giant robot that I can play around in.

PS. My comments on American v. Japanese Cinema still stand.

Judging by the expression on Mary Marvel’s face, that ain’t mud. Although, I think I feel worse for the Riddler, who’ apparently getting a mouthful.

Hmm…so far the Horrible Comic Covers have made reference to tentacle rape, gamma irradiated teabagging, Necrophilia, and Scat Humor. Only the highest quality humor here at GWP.

EDIT: PS… I almost forgot about the Supergirl’s super-period…one of her lesser known abilities.

My fellow geeks, there are times and places when it is acceptable to let your geek flag fly. With the San Diego Comic Con coming up and all the other conventions throughout the year there are plenty of opportunities to be as flamboyant about your geek lifestyle as you choose to be. However, I must ask that we put a stop to the wearing of costumes when attending the opening night of your favorite geek flick.

Let me explain what I’m talking about. Last night, I was out on my regular late night Starbucks trip when I was taken aback by a garish sight. Standing in line before me were three members of Hogwart’s Academy. More specifically, there was a rather cute goth girl dressed as a Slytherin student, a larger girl dressed as a member of the Gryffindor Quidditch Team. The last young man was apparently suppose to be Harry Potter, although he appeared to more like some kind of retarded demon doppleganger. I then realized that the latest Harry Potter movie just opened and these chaps had dressed up for the opening night.

I feel it is important to explain that there is a difference between the world we geeks live in and the world of the “vanilla” people. For us, we see no problem when individual in his twenties or thirties to dresses up like a teenage wizard, stands in line for hours down at the local cineplex, and waves his wand at people yelling in latin. However, most non-geeks just think you’re a loon, and honestly, so do I.

I think we geeks need to stop dressing up to go out to opening night flicks. We can’t stand up and ask for people to take our forms of entertainment seriously when we are dressed like friggin’ Harry Potter. It just doesn’t work, believe me I’ve tried.

And I’m not just dogging the Harry Potter fans, I’m talking about every damn geek who gets all gussied up to go to his or her fave flick. Yes, I’m looking at you LoTR, Star Wars, Star Trek, and Pirates fans. You are not Spock. You are not an elven warrior with flowing blonde locks. You are not a Jedi. And you are especially not Jack fucking Sparrow.

It’s even worse when people dress up as their own fan-fic characters. I can appreciate the time and effort that must have been required to write a background story and costume for your Twi’lek Slave Jedi named Charro. It is a work of astounding geek genius that in other places it to be applauded. But in line at the Edwards Cinema is not one of them.

I understand that you want to show your appreciation for the source material and I can definitely appreciate that, but you have to understand that you’re fucking up the cause for the rest of us. So here’s a few iders for how you can let your geek flag fly, without scaring the norms.

1. Wear a geek Shirt – that is to say wear a t-shirt with your franchise of choice on it. Going to the latest x-men movie? Wear your favorite Wolvie shirt. I have nothing wrong with it and people won’t think you’re some kind of pedo.

2. Costume Incognito – This is bit more difficult to pull off, but with a little effort can work quite well. For example, if you want to dress like a member of the Hogwart’s house of your choice just wear a white button up with the emblem on it. No need for the full on gown and long flowing cloak. This way, you can look like just a normal joe to the unsuspecting movie goer, but people who are down will get the subtle awesomeness of what you’re doing.

These are just two ideas and I’m sure people will have plenty more.

Please understand that I’m not saying I hate costumes… I love them, but only in the socially acceptable times and places. As I said before these places include, but are not limited to: comic and anime conventions, costume parties, D&D games, LARPing, and any other time when being in costume is requested.

I know we can all be responsible in the representation of our geekiness, we just have to try.

That itch? Trying to figure out just what the hell 1-18-08 is all about. For those who have no idea what the hell I’m talking aboot, 1-18-08 is the Untitled JJ Abrhams flick with the kickass trailer that is playing before the Transformers movie. If you want to see what all the commotion is about check out the trailer.

Pretty awesome, no? That’s what I thought too, so I decided to do a little snooping around the net to figure out what the hell the film is about.

Apparently, it had been previously referred to by Paramount internally as “The Parasite”. If this gives any clue as to the nature of plot is uncertain. Also, alot of the internet buzz seems to indicate that most people think its a giant monster movie told from the frantic citizens perspective ala Blair Witch.

What the hell the movie is about, that trailer came out of fraggin’ nowhere and has raised alot of interest in the flick. I’ll be keeping a close watch on this flick and have more info as it is released.

No…I’m not sure what the “Rodger” is either.

Okay… what the crap was that? What was up with that horrible friggin’ breakdown when they name off all the Autobots? And seriously, “Autobots are watching over you? Ready to die for what we love”?!?!??! AHHHH!!! And the lyrics the rap guy was spitting out were terrible, its like he’s never even seen or heard of the Transformers before. Lemme transcribe some of his lyrical stylings for you.

“We need a protector to save our souls,
a hero to rise up and take control,
For the plight(?) of mankind is what sets us apart,
we fight for our freedom, we follow our heart”

Can those lyrics be anymore bland, vague, cliche, and shitty? I say unto thee, nay.

You wanna know what the real Transformers Movie Theme song should sound like?

That’s what the MF’ing Transformers Movie Theme song should sound like!

If you are more a purist you can even use this theme song.

But that Linkin Park sounding pretender to the throne? That sir, is no Transformers Theme Song.

Black Adam: Ruler of Khandaq, One of Earth’s Mightiest Mortals, Necrophiliac Extraordinaire!!

PS. If you liked the episode leave a comment and spread the word people!!!

The Caruso always loves a good zinger.

Just so you know…1. that is the tamest image you’re going to find in this post. 2. all these images can be originally found at modblog.bmezine.com.

The internet is a big, dangerous place and if you don’t have a strong stomach and thick skin you aren’t going to last long around these parts. I once felt I had a sufficiently strong stomach and mind to brave the digital wilderness with my sanity intact. I was born and raised on horror and gore films and late night national news, I thought that you couldn’t show me anything that would surprise or shock me. And then I came across an image of a man with his flaccid love pump jammed through a whole he had made in his own scrotum.

Oh how naive I was. I spent the next three days curled up in a fetal position muttering lines from the Care Bears Movie, drool pooling next to me. After I was snapped out of this haze by the haunting riffs of Guitar Hero 2 I decided it was my duty in life to alert the public to this disturbing movement.

Now before you think I’m some kind of crazy conservative prude it must be said that I think that most piercings and tattoos are just fine. You want to express your love for some skeezy bar hag by getting her name tattooed on the inside of your lip? Well rock on sir. You want to express your pain and anguish at a world that doesn’t understand you by dying your hair jet black, piercing your eyebrow and listening to Fallout Boy? Well, I hate you and hope you crash your sweet Vespa Scooter into S&M Gay Bear Tea Party, but I’m not going to wig out.

What does make me wig out are things like the next two pictures I’m going to link to. But first I need to make sure you understand,

THIS IS NOT SAFE FOR WORK OR HUMAN VIEWING OF ANY KIND!!!!

Still with me? I warned you…oh well, I now directed you batshit crazy images one & two.

AAHHHH!!!! I’m obviously to “Vanilla” to get this, but sweet Jesus tap dancing on Buddha’s face, there has to be something deeply deeply mentally fragged for somebody to think that is fun or exciting.

I’m not sure, I think on the one hand it is an amazing time we’re living in. We are constantly making medical breakthroughs that enable people to survive and thrive, but sweet mother or Pearl, there has to be a distinction between procedures that need to be done and procedures that can be done.

I don’t know kiddies, I present all of this to you just so you get a better understanding of what is out there in the world. So that maybe the next time you think you’re completely desensitized to the world, remember that there are people out there that cut off the tips of their penises for fun. And that, well that’s just massively fucked up.